Monday, January 31, 2011

this is the dawning of the age of Obama




According to Obama's Facebook he was born August 4, 1961. This is 2011. That would make him 50 this upcoming August.

His Myspace had him listed as 52 years old in 2009.

People often say that "none of us are getting any younger". Well, that's not true. Obama is.
I, for one, say that that isn't fair, but, hey, what can I do. I am just one man.

...either that, or he's a liar...

...BUT, as Yahoo Serious said in Young Einstein "If you can't trust the governments of the world, who can you trust?"

Monday, January 24, 2011

He-Man was gay*



A lot has been made about the homosexual themes in the He-Man universe. And, many a young male began examine their He-Man action figure, feeling oddly uncomfortable at the sight of his flowing Prince Valiant hair-do, his oiled, ridiculously muscled torso and tiny furred Speedo. And, a look on his face that conveyed the act of physical love, captured in mid-grunt.


If He-Man represented a more subtle form of molestation, Skeletor was the polar opposite. His studded black leather costume was reminiscent of a demonic leather daddy, who could have easily graced the covers of many a death-metal album and certain magazines they always sold behind the counter at the convenience store. Way behind.



Some of you are turning up your noses at the idea of homosexual overtones--we assure you, we do not take the topic lightly.

Let us simply list for you some names of actual He-Man characters:

RAM MAN

TUNG LASHOR

MANTENNA

STINKOR


...there was also SNOUT POUT and EXTENDAR

and, of course, FISTO




*plagiarized from Cracked

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

EVER GET THAT NOT SO FRESH FEELING??

LYSOL WILL CLEAN ANYTHING AND I MEAN ANYTHING!!

Men in Sony tights


Last week I bought a 5 pack of Sony CD-Rs. Today I go to use one but it doesn't work. It says there's already something on the disc. I check it out.

The disc contained the entire audio for the movie Robin Hood: Men in Tights.
No video. Just the audio for the whole movie beginning to end.

Now, at first I feel cheated, yet again, by big corporation, but then I realize this had to be the work of a disgruntled employee.

I appreciate that I get to see the end result of this prank. I hope there were many more. Something along the lines of an Ernest movie would be nice.

Whoever committed this terrible deed...I owe you a beer.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Plum flavor


I went to the store tonight to buy some beer. At the counter they had all kinds of hard candies.

Orange flavor.
Grape flavor.
Fruit punch flavor.
Lemon lime flavor.
Cherry flavor.

How come you never see plum flavor?
Plums are good. I like plums. You like plums.

Why don't candy companies make plum flavored candy?

Bastards.

Monday, January 3, 2011

THROWIN YOU FOR A LOOP!!

As i sit here feasting on deep fried cheddar nuggets and vegetable egg rolls i leave you with

these pictures ENJOY!