Bull Ice

...after a night of loud punk music and heavy drug use we woke up the next morning with only a few bucks between us. We just had enough for a couple of 50 cent Tacos a Tripas and then we decided to see what alcohol we could find at some little shithole liquor store next door to Tacos El Rey.

The heavens were shining upon us that day as we saw one of the most amazing spectacles known to man. 22 oz bottles of beer for 49 cents!
It was called Bull Ice. We never heard of it but for that price it would be our new favorite beer. We stepped out into the burning sun of that August morning and took a healthy swig.
It cost 49 cents a bottle. I think we got ripped off. It tasted like old pennies and mold and there was shit floating in it that looked like fish food. I think we managed to swallow that mouthful but we were done. We spilled it out and toadstools grew out of the ground where it flowed into the ground to return to the hell from whence it came.
It wasn't the worst beer I ever had. That came later when Big Boss Jake Mocha tried brewing his own beer at home. It tasted exactly the way that a sweaty fat homeless man with log hair and a ZZ Top beard smells.
When discussing the worst beers ever Big Boss is the winner. But I'll never forget the 49 cent Bull Ice

It's been years since I had it but now that I know it's real and it's still being sold I want to try it again.

...and a duck will lead them

Before there was Youtube - there were Federated Group commercials

Shadoe Stevens IS FREDerated

Pac Man, 7Up, and Kim Carnes???

Take Kim Carnes singing Bette Davis Eyes with altered lyrics, turn Pac Man red, and put them in a 7Up commercial:


Here's a longer version of the song:


Who knew that the 7Up spot was related to Pac Man?

The best part of waking up

I don't understand people who have beer before breakfast.

Beer WITH breakfast. That's how you do it.

Wanna Buy A Monkey?

The truth is in there

I got a bag of Cracker Jack and this was my prize:

Can you believe that? My prize was a picture of David Duchovny.

Tell me it's not.

Men in Sony tights

Last week I bought a 5 pack of Sony CD-Rs. Today I go to use one but it doesn't work. It says there's already something on the disc. I check it out.

The disc contained the entire audio for the movie Robin Hood: Men in Tights.
No video. Just the audio for the whole movie beginning to end.

Now, at first I feel cheated, yet again, by big corporation, but then I realize this had to be the work of a disgruntled employee.

I appreciate that I get to see the end result of this prank. I hope there were many more. Something along the lines of an Ernest movie would be nice.

Whoever committed this terrible deed...I owe you a beer.